I haven’t had that thought it a while. The first was last night, because you text me. The second was a few minutes ago. I let myself imagine, and in that few seconds, I’m so, so happy. But this isn’t a fairytale. It’s not going to happen. I wasted a year of energy on trying to make it happen. It’s always going to be in the back of my mind.

When we talk, I pretend I’m okay. I joke around. I’m better than I was, much better. But it still hurts to see pictures of you with her. I don’t know what to do. Do I invest more energy in trying to get you back? Do I waste more money on psychics that say the same thing?

… Do I just forget about you?

Sometimes my heart forgets, and my mind remembers. Or sometimes it’s the other way around. But it’s never both. Why can’t it be both?